they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
