i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
