And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
