dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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