I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
