THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
