sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
