I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
