i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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