Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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