Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
