Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
