Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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