Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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