i may or may not be watching the land before time
he thought i was a dude.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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