Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
