4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
