i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
