Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
