The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
