whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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