I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
