At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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