we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
