I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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