every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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