Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
