i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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