last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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