So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
