I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
