Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
