How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
