I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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