I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
