WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize