I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
