We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
