Dual....:-)
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
