its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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