No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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