from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We're too hungover to prance.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize