Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
