Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
