Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
