Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
