Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
sex in a hospital.. check
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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