omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
