8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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