you win again, gameday.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize