So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Did you pee in the oven last night??
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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