Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.

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(209): View more from California

Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?

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(330): View more from Ohio

Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up

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(315): View more from New York

We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."

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(310): View more from California

It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.

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