there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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