This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i now understand why vodka
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
