You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
