I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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