I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
