I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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