i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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