Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
