Just mADE A PArabola og urine
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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